i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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