it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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