Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
