You made me cry and you don't even care
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
