two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
