it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Are my feet made of real feet?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
