literally had 100 drinks last night.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
