she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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