Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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