I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
