try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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