Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I stole a fireplace last night.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
