just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
