Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
