No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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