sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
