I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
