I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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