seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you traded sex for a burrito?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
