I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
