Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i already hear my dad disowning me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize