Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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