she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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