I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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