Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
