I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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