Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
