porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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