OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
