Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
