I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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