Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
