My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
