my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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