the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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