you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
