he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My penis needs a shock collar
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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