So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
