it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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