problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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