from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
