Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
