You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
