You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
