your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
