we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
