Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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