I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
