wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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