Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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