watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
