is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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