Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
