Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
No subtext here. People are naked.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
