if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
