We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
