We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
